Dating Seminar

Dear Prince Charming,

For FHE on Monday, my Stake held a dating seminar. It was AMAZING!!! :) The speaker was witty, connective, easy going, and sweet. She also knew her stuff - when she demonstrated, I felt a part of me inside going, "Sheesh. She's SMOOTH! I wish I could do that half as well as she can..." Maybe if I practice...

Basically, what we learned was some key psychology things on guys & girls, how to flirt, how to get a guy to ask for your number, how to turn someone down, and how to make sure we're dating rather than hanging out. We also learned how to seem confident & attractive to the other person, read body language to tell if they are interested or not, and how to not come across in a way that will scare the other person off. They also covered how to get the guy you are interested in to feel like he is competing for & pursuing you (see guy psychology #4 below) rather than you chasing after them.

I guess it worked pretty well? Since that seminar, I've had 3 guys begin to express interest in me, which is very flattering. Now I just need to come across as more amazing than just how good I choose to look. Because, lets face it. I am so much better than I look. My true beauty resides inside of me, I think. And the more I develop that, the more beautiful I will be to my Father in Heaven.

Before the seminar came up, Brother Short (the Stake leader over FHE, so I work with him often) recommended reading "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" with each other after we get married - apparently this will help me understand you a lot better. However, he highly advised I don't read it now (apparently I don't need to know everything in it while I'm single - maybe I'd stay single if I did? haha). So, someday, lets do this :) I think it could help, if he recommended it.

Anyway. As for what I have learned so far, here are the notes I have from the seminar:

Guy Psychology:
1. Men seek out relationships that make them feel trusted and respected.
2. Men develop love through sacrifice.
3. Men are largely logical about their relationships and commitments; thus, they do not commit easily to things they have not invested in over a period of time.
4. Men are driven to succeed, face challenges, compete, and conquer.
5. Men like women who like themselves.
6. Men love to be heroes.
7. Men like being appreciated.
8. Men like femininity.
9. Men like women who have opinions and assert their needs.
10. Men pursue women who are approachable and appear to be available.
11. Good men want sex with a woman who feels good about having sex with them and will wait until marriage.
12. Men need to be needed.
13. Men are repelled by criticism, nagging, and whining.
14. A man experiences anxiety in every conversation a woman initiates until she tells him what she wants him to do.
15. Men bond more through talking about things and doing activities than they do through talking about people, problems, feelings, or ideas.
16. Men adore women who give them love, attention, and affection.
17. Men are often willing to talk openly and honestly when they feel it will help them or another person to do so.

Girl Psychology:
1. Women thrive when they feel safe & secure.
2. Women develop love through sacrifice, but need men to communicate their needs if that sacrifice is to be helpful rather than hurtful and overresponsible.
3. Women often take a man's words very seriously, get excited, assume commitment, and then get hurt when he pulls away due to the added pressure.
4. Women are insecure about their bodies and fear competition from other women.
5. Women are attracted to strength and confidence. (Some women misunderstand this attraction and fall for men that are controlling, manipulative, arrogant & egotistical - make sure you understand the difference!)
6. Women are turned off by men who are too nice.
7. Women often fall in love with friends.
8. Women like to be pursued and to feel wanted.
9. Women enjoy touch, kissing, and affection but feel vulnerable and prone to shame after sexual contact.
10. Women want men who hold off sexually - it makes them feel respected and wanted rather than feeling like an object.
11. Women want immediate relationships, but trust and value slowly progressing relationships.
12. Women long to feel adored.
13. Women are repelled by moping, brooding, and the silent treatment.
14. Women worry - they need to know they are not alone in dealing with the problems of the relationship.
15. Women who don't trust and respect their men fall out of love, especially if there is no communication.
16. Women like gifts, surprises, reasonable spontaneity, and excitement - the extra effort makes them feel special (just make sure you don't try this too early - otherwise you are "too nice" and it turns them off)
17. Women would rather have open and honest communication about misdeeds than to be protected from the truth.

I will not give the best of me to those who don't invest in me.

Also, 8 Be-Effective Facts for dating:
1. Your situation does not define your value.
2. Confidence matters; fake it 'til you make it.
3. You're not failing in dating and relationships; your technique is failing you.
4. The more you practice, the better you get.
5. Faith works.
6. To be successful, you must recognize and invest in what you want.
7. The more deeply you sacrifice, the more deeply you love.
8. If he/she doesn't respond, someone else will.

Love you always,
Your Princess
A Damsel in Practice

Quotes & Taking Chances

Dear Prince Charming,

As you probably know by now, I adore quotes :) I found these today, and thought they were VERY true, and decided this blog was a good home for them :) They really are true - I am, so to speak, like the apple on the top of the tree, waiting. I am also going to take a huge chance on you. I am both excited and terrified to take that chance. Please don't ever hurt me or let me down... And I can only imagine that kissing you will feel the way they described :) I don't know, though, because I have never been kissed yet...


"The girl you marry will take a terrible chance on you. She will give her all to the young man she marries. He will largely determine the remainder of her life. She will even surrender her name to his name.... The girl who marries you will wish to be married to someone who loves her, who trusts her, who walks beside her, who is her very best friend and companion. She will wish to be married to someone who encourages her in her Church activity and in community activities which will help her to develop her talents and make a greater contribution to society. She will want to be married to someone who has a sense of service to others, who is disposed to contribute to the Church and to other good causes. She will wish to be married to someone who loves the Lord and seeks to do His will."
- President Gordon B. Hinckley

"That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time.”
-Unknown

Women are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and don't want to get hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't so good but easy. So, the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top because they value quality.
- Unknown


Love,
Your Princess
A Damsel in Learning

All Your Love

  Dear Prince Charming,

My friend shared this poem, and I must confess, I rather liked it :) A LOT. Here it is:

Love by Shel Silverstein- "Ricky was "L" but he's home with the flu, Lizzie, our "O," had some homework to do, Michell, our "E" prob'ly got lost on the way, So I'm all of love that could make it today."

 I guess why I liked this so much is because I will be all the love that you'll get... And I'll make it SO worth it!! :)

ALL Your Love,
Your Princess

"Secret Mesige" From Me at Age 7(ish)

Dear Prince Charming,

This is a love poem I wrote when I was about 7 - I found it and had to put it here because it made me giggle.

"I love you, so I route you a poum:

I love you, oh how I love you.
I wish I could give you a kiss!
Oh my love, will you be my valintine?
Oh my heart loves you.
My hart is ponding, full of love.
I ceaped on telling you I love you!
So will you be my valintin?
Oh I love you!
I'll give you a kiss when my heart is full of love for you!

Did you enjoy my valentine poem?
I really love you!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
I gave you my love!"

On the back of the paper is written "Secret Mesige"

I hope this makes you laugh as much as it made me :D

Love,
Your Princess
A Damsel Reminiscing