Hopeless Romantic

Dear Prince Charming,
I love how I keep telling myself that I don't need you yet, but my heart just isn't buying it. I've grown up fed on books, fairytales, Disney, little girl ideals. Because of that, I've grown up the hopeless romantic, excited for the day I'll be swept off my feet and be able to love you with my whole heart and have you love me with your whole heart, and work towards our own Eternal Lives together through thick and thin, better and worse.
I grew up helping care for seven younger siblings, so not only am I hopelessly romantic, but I'm super maternal. I've always wanted to be a mom. I helped my mom by rocking and singing my youngest siblings to sleep at night, and some nights I'd just take them to bed with me, feeling their tiny sleeping forms next to me as the little tiny baby next to me slept happily. I also have woken up in middle of the night to discover that tiny baby is gagging, and just managed to get them to the bathroom before they threw up, or woken up to discover my bed was soaked from them peeing it, and having to give them a bath and wash and change the sheets at some insanely early hour of the morning.
I've learned through life about reality. Maybe that's why my imagined Happily Ever After isn't perfect. I know there will probably be days where I'll get fed up with you and want to get some space. I know there will be days I'll not want to be super mom anymore, and I'll just be ready to call a sitter and try to get time with you. I know there will be hard times, happy times, sad times, sick times, throw your hands in the air or scream in a pillow times. But ever the optimist, I really am excited to go through it with you.
I know that I still have so much time to meet so many guys, and date around, and enjoy life right now as a young single adult. I know that I should be excited for all the fun things I am able to do while single, for all the opportunities I have. Oh, I am. I love being able to socialize, to enjoy myself, to meet new guys and have fun, and date. But really, there are days that my heart wishes I wasn't alone. All my friends are in relationships, it seems. I've never been in one. Ever. And how I wish I could find you, and be with you and laugh with you and enjoy my time with you. To have you hug me when I have a bad day, or listen when I need to vent, or kiss me and tell me I'm beautiful. I want to feel special, and feel like the luckiest girl in the world when I see you. I want to be yours, and be completely loved, and love you completely back, and I want to see your face light up when our kids see you and grin because they love their daddy. I want to see your face go completely soft when you hold our first child. I want to laugh when you get spit-up all over you, because I've already been through that so many times. I want to throw my arms around you and say "YES!!!"
Ever the romanticist. Ever the one that wants to be a mom someday. And I know it won't always be easy. But I don't really care. I want to accept the bad times with the good, and know that you'll always support me, and know that you'll always love me, even when I make mistakes.
It's interesting, because I love meeting new guys, being asked on dates, being told I look beautiful, and being able to socialize. I love that I'm free to continue finding out what I'm looking for, and I know that I don't need a relationship in my life yet. I know I absolutely don't plan on getting married any time soon. But I also just kinda want to be found. I have no idea how much longer I have to go before you'll stumble across me and fall in love, and you'll make me fall for you. I have no idea if I already know you, and if I'm interested in you or not right now.
I have no idea if you know that my favorite color is blue, that I love lilies, that I collect seashells and love stargazing. I don't know if you know that the longest book I've read was 1,001 pages long, and I read it for fun within a couple weeks in Junior High. I don't know if you think I'm amazing yet, or if you think I'm talented yet, or if you even know how talented I am yet. I don't know if you know my parents are going through a divorce.
But I do know that someday you will. And that someday you'll find me. And someday, I'll be a mom. So here's for someday, because today is worth living, and my dreams are worth holding onto, because someday it'll all work out.
Love,
Your Princess,
A Damsel That Can't Decide How She Feels About Waiting/Looking/Not Knowing.